True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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