Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
