did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
