Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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