Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
