Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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