worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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