reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
