Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Girls should come with a carfax report
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
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