Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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