I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
