I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
