The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize