I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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