My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
