your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
