I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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