I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
