just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
