why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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