No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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