I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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