Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
