i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
