Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
