Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
