If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
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