I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
