You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
