Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
