Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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