He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just google imaged poop.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
