He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
