She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
