i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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