So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
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There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
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I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Pants are for mortals
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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