Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Randomize
