Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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