I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
