I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
