He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
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So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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