yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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