So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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