tonight lets celebrate not being married
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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