went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
