what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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