Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
