Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
