wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
