we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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