Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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