I CAN MOONWALK!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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