I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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