Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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