she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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