Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
