i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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