that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
