I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
