you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
