Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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