Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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